He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
