Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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