Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
did you just send me my own nude
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