We should be called the Road Head Warriors
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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