His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I need a beard to bite.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
