Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
