im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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