Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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