So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
