just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
