Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
