Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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