We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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