It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
