Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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