there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
