I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
