Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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