Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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