Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
