Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
