At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
