I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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