we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
