How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
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