he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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