Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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