I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
