420 ftw
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
