Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
