so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
