How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
