I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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