6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
