Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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