I CAN MOONWALK!
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
