sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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