i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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