Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Randomize
