Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
