yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I wannas sexs uuuuu
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
