we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
