I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
