with your own penis?
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
