I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
