i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
