He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Randomize
