I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
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