I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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