we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
