is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
