My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
