i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
