Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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