Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Randomize
