My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
