ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
